Bye Bye Gall Bladder

A huge Christmas dinner followed by some Chinese Food the next day was the first time I had an attack. I wasn’t sure what the attack was, but I knew that it was horrific pain that felt like heart burn but was unaffected by antacids. Dr. Google and my mom pretty clearly diagnosed it as a gall bladder attack and I promised to go to the emergency room next time it happened (in an effort to listen to my body and put my health first this year).  

This past Saturday morning it started again and I wanted to go to Mackenzie Health ER, the hospital where I used to take Zackie often and the home of Zack’s Dream Room. It was so odd to walk through those doors and register alone, not pack my stuff in a stroller or have a bag of meds and syringes with me, but I did it on a night where the wait was over 4 hours. Armed with trashy magazines and a phone with limited battery life, I was moved through the queue until I got to see a doctor. They wanted to get an ultrasound, but it was closed. Just my luck. I would have to come back tomorrow and start again. I went home and tried to get some sleep with pain meds, but poor Jayden was throwing up all night. 

Paul was scheduled to be in Dallas, but pushed his flight off so that I could go for my ultrasound to finally diagnosis this pain I’ve been having. The doctor came in the cubicle after another hour waiting and told me that Cholecystitis was the diagnosis. Not only did I have gall stones, my entire gall bladder was inflamed and he was going to call a surgeon for a consult. WHAT? This was when it got real and I got scared. I had made peace with the fact that I might need surgery for this, but right now? I wasn’t ready and I was in the ER alone.

I was asked to wait in the chair area while they paged the surgeon to see the results and talk to me…that was when I heard Elmo’s laugh. It was a quick laugh but it unmistakeably was Elmo. There was no doll, no toy and really only one child in the room, as I looked around for the sound. I still have no idea where that laugh came from. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone again. In that moment, I knew Zack was with me and I wasn’t alone at all.

The surgeon decided that I was best to get the gall bladder out today and went through the risks and consent forms. My parents drove in from Fenelon Falls, my sister went to my house so that Paul could come to sit with me (after he cancelled his trip). Dressed in my stunning gown and hooked up to the IV, I was ready to head up to the 4th floor (home to Zack’s Dream Room) and wait for my turn in the OR.

When they came to get me I started to get really scared.  I hadn’t really had any surgery since I was very young and I was nervous. I’m a wife and a mom now, I had so much to lose. While I was wheeled down, my Dad and Paul walked with me and tried to calm my nerves.  We said good-bye and I was taken into the OR. The lights, the equipment, it all rushed back to the night Zack was taken to the OR at SickKids. Had he been scared of those lights, those faces, those tubes? It was almost as if I was feeling all that might have happened to him. I was really anxious and nervous but as Michael Bolton’s “I said I loved you but I lied” pumped through the room (they wouldn’t take my request for Nick Jonas), and the happy meds rushed through my veins, I felt comforted knowing my angel was there.

I woke up groggy with some great pain meds and Paul beside me in my room. Decorated with four new holes in my stomach, I was so glad it was over. My parents came to see that I was okay and I got to speak to the kids. Even my beautiful pediatric nurse friends from the hospital came to see me! That night though, I was really ready to sleep and then go home to my boys, in the morning.

The next morning, Kath came with a tea and Greek yogurt so that I could still stay on my no-carbs diet and I got the news that I had been sprung! My bestie helped wheel me out and get me home to my family. Not our usual glamour shot, but one that really shows our true friendship. I think this is my new fave.

I learned a few things over the last few days. One, that a gall bladder is a really light organ and really didn’t help with my weight loss goals.  Two, that there are angels around us when we need them most. Three, that you know who you can count on, in good times and bad, sickness and health and four, that you need to listen to your body when it’s trying to tell you that something’s up.  

Life is far to precious to ignore the signs.