Date Night has a new meaning

Do you ever miss your husband? Even though he lives in the same house and sleeps in the same bed? I do.

Last week, my sister offered to take the boys for a playdate and sleepover to allow Paul and I to have some time together. I’m so truly grateful that she knew how much we needed this….even more than we knew it ourselves.

The minute the boys left- we started talking about all the things we don’t or can’t say when the boys are around. It seems that the discussions are too deep to have over a simple family dinner or too sensitive to have around Ty and Jayden. On the phone, it also seems that we only talk about superficial topics like schedules, school and when we can time dinner. The elephant in the room is always the sadness and loss we feel about Zack and his absence in our family. It’s so overwhelming at times, when the 4 of us are out or even sitting at dinner that we really only need to look at each other to tell one another how we are feeling.

When it came to a great night where we could be alone, we could speak freely about all we have been wanting to say. We shared our sadness, anger, disbelief and questions about faith. Gone are the days when a date night is just a night to go out, get dressed and maybe have some fun 🙂 Now these nights are about so much more.

After we had shared our most precious thoughts, cried and totally ruined my makeup…it was time to go out, hold hands and share a great night at the show.

We both realized how much we missed each other and how crazy our life can be…how can we make time for our marriage and for these discussions? We really need to work through our grief together, but it never seems to be the “right” time to talk about it. I’m not sure what the solution is…but what I do know is that we need to put each other first, if we really want to get through these emotions together. I also know for sure, we need each other more than ever before.