Elf on the Shelf, WestJet and other ways to find your Christmas Spirit

Oh December, here you are again.  The month that brings such a mixture of heartache and joy each and every year since Zack died at age 3 and a half.  I can’t truly wrap my head around the fact that this is the fourth Christmas without him. Fourth! How is that possible?  

It’s been four years since I bought Zack’s last gifts and searched online to find the perfect Elmo bedding set. 

It’s been four years since our three boys sat on Santa’s lap.  

It’s been four years since our family of five took it’s last holiday photo.  

It’s been four years since Christmas brought the joy that filled my heart and our home. 

It’s been four years since I looked forward to this holiday.

I know that it’s only normal that I find myself struggling again to find the joy this time of year, but I still curse myself for feeling this way.  

So, in an effort to find MY spirit and maybe help some of you this season, I thought I’d work through MY list of ways in which the magic of the holiday is still alive in our family and somewhere in my heart….

1.  Buddy, our new “Elf on The Shelf” has arrived! For years, we have resisted this tradition , but this year I wanted to try a daily reminder of the magic that is Christmas. So far, this is really a lot of fun!

2. Giving back is one of the best ways for me to find that Christmas spirit! This year we’ve been part of Operation Christmas Child, World Vision gifts and will host a toy drive at school! 

3.  Holiday parties with wine, appetizers and sweet desserts are some of my favourite parts of December!

4. I love attending the Holiday Memorial service at our local Bereaved Families chapter.  Surrounded by others who are also struggling to find their holiday spirit, it’s very comforting to not feel quite so alone.

5.  Shopping is fun and therapeutic!  Picking gifts my boys will love and seeing them wonder about what Santa might bring…that is Christmas spirit at its best. Watching Paul get excited about the shopping deals is a thing of beauty. The world’s best shopper, my generous hubby often goes way overboard at Christmas, so I hope that there is some holiday magic on our Visa!

6.  Spending time with my amazing family and going up north to my parent’s house at the lake (aka Christmastown) is where memories are made.  Just like some of my wishes on my list from 2013.

7.  I can’t wait to take two weeks off with my silly boys and do NO work for two whole weeks! I can’t say that I’ve done that for years and I’m making our to-do list now!

8. Decorating is both tough and beautiful. Every house looks better with mini lights and I smile each time I pass Zack’s Elmo ornaments on the tree.