Is SHE really ME?

I was just looking at a photo taken this week (no I’m not sharing it with you) and I couldn’t believe that THAT was me!

You know how some women have body dismorphic disorder and think that they are heavier than they are?  I’m the opposite!

I’m actually a much thinner woman trapped in this body and so desperate to get out!

After watching Jennifer Hudson in an interview, I made the bold move to finally DO something about my health and my weight.  She described how she had used food as a comfort for the stress in her life and how she had overcome the tragedies in her family by getting healthy and taking care of herself.  I’m now on week 2 of Weight Watchers, trying to do Wii Fit daily and drinking enough water to keep me on the toliet for most of the day.  I’m happy to report that I’m down over 5lbs!  While, it is not going as fast as I’d love it to, I’ve totally changed my eating habits in an effort to find the ME that is dying to come out!  As Ty becomes more conscious of his own body shape and his weight, I knew this was time for me to set an example for my sons. Now our family is motivating each other, eating healthier and I love having my boys as my biggest cheerleaders! 

It’s not like I want to be the supermodels in the magazines or even Kim Kardashian any time soon (Paul has a small crush on her)….I just want to be the ME that I used to be.  I look back on those photos and I’m so desperate to be her again.  Fit into some of my favourite clothes, be able to walk into stores and shop and have more confidence (see my inspiration photo below)!

Why do we have such a warped sense of our bodies?  I can remember being my goal weight and feeling so much bigger than I was.  I remember pulling down shirts to cover or hide a part of my body.  I can remember checking myself out in every mirror. It seems so ironic that I’m now struggling to get back to that very weight!  I do remember that it was a time when my clothes felt better, my closet was full of options, people complimented me on how I look and I just felt better. 

So, it’s begun.  A new adventure on which I need to be patient and give myself time.  But I’m really excited and even proud that I’ve started the journey back to ME!