I’ve Learned A Lot Since My Son Was Diagnosed with ADHD

Today was a good day. 

Since Jayden’s diagnosis of ADHD, I’ve learned a lot. Not only about him and how we can understand, appreciate and speak to him better, but about the world around us and how somethings will continue to be a struggle for our son until we find some great strategies that work.

Everyday can be challenging for both of us and I still make mistakes but we’re on the way to a better understanding of ADHD and how to change how we parent our son.

I know that I need to remind myself that he needs to hear about brushing his teeth and making his bed each and every morning, so I’ve learned not to get frustrated or raise my voice when he forgets.

I’ve learned to be creative! With the cold weather keeping the kids inside, we set up a hockey shooting area in the basement to work off any steam and keep Jayden busy and having fun!

Homework time is challenging..for us both. When homework time comes, I brace myself for the roller coaster of emotions. I often take a deep breath when he finally “gets” the concept on question #3, but forgets again on question #5. What I’ve realized is that it’s all worth it when I get home from work to a very excited Jayden who got an A on the test that we worked really hard to study for.

IPads are both wonderful and a curse. Jayden loves watching YouTube videos, but we have to limit the time on his device. I’ve tried to introduce some graphic novels so that the vivid illustrations might hold his interest….and it’s working to inspire him to read more!

With several daily “injuries” that require some much needed attention and a bandage, I now buy bandaids in bulk and leave them in his bathroom, school and hockey bag, kitchen closet and glove compartment so that he can have one whenever he wants.

Sometimes it’s a struggle as our whole family work to watch what we say and how we say it so to not push Jayden’s very sensitive “buttons”. But the bonus of having such a sensitive son is that he has such a huge and empathetic heart.

Jayden has always loved the speed and thrills of most sports, roller coasters and anything physical…now this makes even more sense as we realize that with his ADHD, his brain requires more sensory input. That means that when we introduced him to snowboarding in Blue Mountain and then skiing, he was a pure natural and had a blast!

I’ve read the school board policies and a thousand articles online. I’ve spoken to parents I know and trust about their experiences and felt empowered to do the best for my own son. I know what should happen at the IEP meetings and I understand most of the terminology but I’m still learning about what we can do at school to help and how to best advocate on Jayden’s behalf. It’s tough though. He’s so self-aware but now talking openly about having ADHD (a huge step for him!). He’s still worried about being “different” but he also knows that the strategies help him. Some accommodations in the classroom include; manipulatives for math (blocks to count on, clocks, stamps to make shapes, etc), computers to use for final drafts of writing assignments and even some scribing (teachers writing it down verbatim) when the writing becomes too much during an assessment. There has even been a request made to the school board for him to get a computer for next year (Special Equipment Amount or SEA claim). I know that we are lucky that the school team are so helpful and are willing to continue to adjust and try new things throughout the school year in order for Jayden to be successful.Jayden loves to have jobs in the classroom and feel valued (who doesn’t?). He’s a great leader when he’s given responsibility and would one day like to help in the special needs classroom. For now, his teacher continues to make him feel important by being a clean up helper (it also helps him stay organized and move around to burn off energy).

While medication for ADHD is an option for us to consider (and we’ve met with a great doctor we trust), we don’t feel that its the right time. It’s great to have that as an option down the road, if we feel that there are barriers to success that strategies can’t overcome. We’ve even talked to Jayden about a “focus pill” and he’s totally open to it as well!

I’ve learned that life in rep hockey has good days and bad days. When there are external rewards and treats for great listening and trying his best, we usually see Jayden’s skills on the ice. But without those, the drive to just work hard to feel great, isn’t enough to motivate him to listen to his coach at practice. When Jayden hits that sweet spot of working hard and feeling really proud of his accomplishments…he can even earn player of the game!

Everyday is a struggle and can be challenging for all of us as we navigate this new world of ADHD, but it’s getting easier. I’m not a fan of labels, but it does help to find new ideas, resources and ways to work together so that we understand just a little bit more about our amazing kid. As we continue to learn more, talk openly together and celebrate Jayden’s successes…I know that we are on the right track!