Dear New Teacher…some things you need to know about my son

I’m a very involved parent at school. I sit on the Parent Council, volunteer and communicate regularly with the teachers. Last night was curriculum night at our school and after spending time with Jayden’s teacher, I realized that after only 1 month in the class, these teachers are just starting to know our kids, how they learn, what motivates them and how to help them be successful! The more I shared with Jayden’s teacher the more she seemed grateful to know more about him, to fast-track what she may come to learn over the next few months. This insight into just one of her 28 kids can only help her, right? I was happy to see that she appreciated knowing more about how to make this a great year for both of them….here’s the letter that I’d LIKE to send to Jayden’s teacher at the start of every year.

Dear Jayden’s Teacher,

I wanted to say hello and thank you in advance for teaching Jayden this year, we are really thrilled you have him in your class! I know it’s still early in the new school year, so I just wanted to share a few things that might help you (and him) have a really successful year together!

1. All you need to know about Jayden’s diagnosis of ADHD and writing learning difference (LD) is in the private diagnostic assessment that we completed before grade 3. Beyond the fact that it is the best $3000 we ever spent, it will help you understand our son. I’m happy to share it with you. I know that by reading, even just the recommendation pages, you will learn some great strategies as well as limitation that will help inform some of the ways you teach, motivate and encourage Jayden this year (grab a glass of wine, it’s a long read).
2. Please read Jayden’s IEP. When you read it, you will see all the time and effort we have put into getting the best tips to help support Jayden in school. Since he is modified in literacy and math (he is assessed at a different level, so expectations are different that his classmates), I know that this IEP will help you right away to see the areas in which Jayden struggles the most. Please use all the tools that we’ve worked hard to provide to the school, so that all teachers know what works best to provide a positive learning experience for Jayden.
3. Thank you for providing classroom jobs and allowing Jayden to be a bus helper this year. Jayden is a great leader, when he’s given the chance to lead. I know he and his buddy are proud to play this role with the smaller kids.
4. Jayden loves his friends and they are really important to him. He’s an empathetic kid who will want to help others and he is a social guy who really thrives around others. This is great at recess, but I get that sometimes this means that he will be chatty in class. A few reminders and clear rules will really help keep this in check….if all else fails, move his desk!
5. He’s forgetful. I know that it can be frustrating when he forgets his water bottle, agenda and workbooks and you have to remind him…trust me, I get it. Part of having to struggle to pay attention is forgetfulness. I’m sorry that you have to keep reminding him, but he needs those reminders. I’ve learned that asking him to just remember ONE of these at a time, mastering that and then taking time to add in the other tasks is a much better approach. It’s taken us a while to get to the point where Jayden doesn’t need reminders to make his bed but brushing his teeth is still always forgotten. It takes time, so please be patient.
6. Please don’t keep him in at recess. Jayden needs to move around and be physical so that he can stay more focused for the rest of the day. I know it’s challenging, but could you find another time to provide some extra help?
7. Sitting still and paying attention for a long period of time is really difficult for Jayden sometimes. When it becomes just too much, he may want a break. No, he really doesn’t need to pee ten times in a day, this is his way of taking a break when the work is too hard or he’s had to pay attention for too long. Please let him have some breaks, but also be clear on your rules about when he can take them. If he’s wanting to leave when the work needs to be done, I bet it is just too hard and he may be too embarrassed to ask for help.
8. Jayden and I are a team. In everything we do, we work together, especially when it comes to homework. I work until 3pm each day so that I can be home for him to monitor his progress, reteach some of the lessons and help him complete his work. He works hard to focus for another 40 minutes after school, but there will be some days when we just can’t do anymore…I promise that I will write you a note when we just can’t finish all the homework you assigned.
9. Nothing makes me prouder than hearing that Jayden advocates for himself. When he asks you to scribe for him, explain something to him or asks to use the computer to do his writing, please be proud of his progress too! Keep in mind that asking for help is really tough for a kid who cares what his peers think about him. He’s embarrassed to need that help, so I hope you can be subtle and respect his emotions about feeling “different”.
10. I want your job to be easier. So please know that I want to know about Jayden’s struggles and successes in the classroom…you may hear from me so much you get sick of me, but that’s because all I want is for my son to be happy and successful at school. Please keep me posted on everything you think I will want to know or when you need some help to find strategies.
11. I hope you embrace technology as much as we are beginning to. With a little more training, we hope that Jayden uses his school computer everyday! We hope that you will also allow him to take photos of the work on the board, so that it gives YOU both a break from writing it in his agenda!
12. You may not know much about our family, but Jayden has an emotional, empathetic and very sensitive side. He lost his twin brother when he was just 3, but it forever shaped who he is. Please understand that while he may show some toughness on the outside, he’s a sensitive boy who has been through far too much in his years.
13. Have you seen Jayden at his best? Please try to bring that out in him. Jayden is so cool, got crazy swag and loves to entertain. He loves so many things like bike tricks and skateboards and even has his own YouTube channel! He’s a charismatic kid who is fun and crazy creative. If you give him an outlet for that creativity and let me share his love of music and making video, he will be grateful and it will help build his confidence.

I’m looking forward to working with you and the incredible SERT (Special Education Resource Teacher) at the school…I already know that we will all make a great team!

Thank you. Talk to you soon,

Heather, Jayden’s proud mom.