We had 4 amazing years alone with just Ty- our first IVF miracle and the love of our lives. Enter twin brothers, one with special needs and one with unrelenting energy and humour and Ty’s world as he knew it was thrown upside down… never mind “Holland”… Ty was on another planet with the introduction of our little boys (our second and third IVF miracles!).Big Brother Ty rose to the occasion in everyway helping with Jayden when he came home alone from the hospital. While it was brutally hard to explain why Zack was in the hospital with a “sick heart” and make life “normal” in the beginning- we soon realized that Ty would have to come to know a new “normal” that was our new life as a family of five. Ty loved Zack before they met… in fact, Ty was not able to see Zack at Sick Kids until he was out of Critical Care and was 5 weeks old but it didn’t stop him from telling friends in JK how his brother was in Sick Kids and that they were fixing his sick heart.
Jayden was amazing with Zack from the start. I used to take my sweet sleeper down to Sick Kids every morning to sleep with his brother at the bottom of the hospital crib. I can remember when Zack had fewer tubes and I could really hold him well. I sat in a rocking chair with both of my twin boys and I cried and cried for that moment… for the fact that they had been separated… for what the future may bring and for the beauty of these little lives that were now together in my arms as they were meant to be.
Having a brother like Zack has taught our sons a sensitivity and gentleness they may otherwise not have learned. It seems to be innate, how they know to be gentler, kinder and more patient with him than with each other. Their love and appreciation for him has always been unconditional. They may bug each other, steal each others toys, hit each other…but Zack is showered with hugs, kisses and “helped” to walk! Zack has always needed lots more attention and has had lots of wonderful visits from therapists, yet this has been part of Jayden’s weekly schedule for his whole life. He loves to “try out” the equipment before Zackie tries it. He performs for all of our wonderful specialists and encourages Zack with every attempt to do a new activity. G-Tube feeds, trips to the hospital, daily vomitting episodes and piles of syringes are accepted as the norm in our family. Without words every being said, our boys accept that Zack will do things a bit slower than his twin and they seem to know what he is saying even though he hasn’t even said his first word. This past week has been especially profound. Zack has been mumbling and mimicking the intonation in our voices and Ty has been a “Zack Whisperer” telling us what he is “saying” with every sound. Ty really believes he knows what his brother is communicating without any words between them. “He wants to get out of his chair mommy” was what I heard this morning when Zack had been making some sounds. Our little Zackie certainly gives back to his brothers by laughing at their silly jokes, playing the drum in their rock band, enjoying every snuggle, not fussing if a toy is taken away and pulling their faces to his own to give them the sweetest kiss. Book I love for Siblings of Children with Special Needs;
Alex
March 27, 2010 at 4:14 am (15 years ago)another amazing installment Heath!
Kath
March 27, 2010 at 1:55 pm (15 years ago)Wonderful post Heather! It is amazing the bond siblings share!!!
connie gorsline
March 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm (15 years ago)Wow…Shoebert….way to go with this post.
As usual…you are a true inspiration. You amaze me with the love and appreciation you have so naturally found. Your family is so blessed that you are there for them. I cannot imagine otherwise.
Nikki
March 28, 2010 at 4:00 am (15 years ago)Every post is more touching than the last!! Your family has taught so many people what love really is, we should all be as positive and inspirational as you!!
Smita
March 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm (15 years ago)You have wonderful boys who truly know the meaning of love! You are such an amazing mom and inspiration to everyone around you!!