After Zack died, both Paul and I felt the need to get away with Ty and Jayden and just “regroup” and leave the everyday-ness of our lives and find some fun. The problem was, we weren’t in the frame of mind to plan and make decisions and to be honest, we were drowning in the debt of the funeral and burial expenses and a trip just wasn’t feasible.
It didn’t take long for my wonderful friends to read our minds and doing the planning (and paying) for us. Both Alex (@Clippo) and Jana (@MySmartHandsTO) cooked up a plan to help take care of us all and arrange an all-expense-paid weekend at Great Wolf Lodge. They even picked the spot that both of our boys had been begging to go back to!
I can’t even imagine the tweets, emails and underground discussions that took place to make this happen…but I DO know that it look a lot of love and support from a lot of other women toput this amazing weekend together. Canada Post and PayPal were busy delivering money to Alex and Jana from mothers who were reaching out to help make this happen. From the stories I have heard, our Twitter friends were contributing daily, to help bring our family some time together. I also have to mention the General Manager in Niagara Falls, Steve, who helped Alex and Jana create a perfectly planned weekend!
How do we say Thank You to these two women and to YOU.
All of you who sent your precious family’s money so that we could have a break?
The best I can do, is to tell you about our memorable weekend in this blog and let you know that we appreciated your help to make this happen for us and for our wonderful boys.
When we arrived at Great Wolf Lodge on Friday evening, the boys were beside themselves and wanted to jump right in the water! The waterpark was closing soon, so, we chose to have a fast dinner, get unpacked and organized in our room. The room was amazing! With TVs everywhere, a fab loft for Paul and I and two bathrooms, we felt at home right away. Drawers were filled with our clothes, snacks were put on the shelf and wine was chilled in the fridge! Dividing the beds and the sitting area was a half wall, where we immediately put our favourite photo of Zack. We settled in for a wonderful 3 night stay.
Venturing downstairs to explore (and have some wine!), we found the kids show. We loved how Great Wolf Lodge created such a fun evening show with the forest animals; Mo the Moose, Slim the Tree, and Mama Bear and then a great story time while the kids listened in their pajamas. When we went close to the talking animals, Mo the Moose sneezed (Zack loved fake sneezes). Ty and I looked at each other and smiled, knowing that it was our sign from Zack that he was with us. After the animal part of the show, our boys were in their element with a Family Dance Party! What a blast seeing Ty’s new breakdancing moves and Jayden’s funky spins on the carpet! Our first night ended with very tired kids and a treat of sleeping with us! Jayden and I snuggled in the loft and Ty and Paul fell asleep on the main floor while they watched a movie.
The next morning, we woke up, got ready for the waterpark and went to have the amazing buffet! The kids loved the way they could choose their own food and they soon realized that they had control over the sausages, bacon and waffles that went on their plates! When we finally walked through the doors of the waterpark, we entered a whole other world! The kids went crazy exploring every pool, slide and activity. The lazy river, kids pool and slides were where Jayden and I spent most of our time, while Paul and Ty loved the Wave pool! We spent each morning totally soaked and I’m not sure that I had ever done that…it was really a lot of fun! The medium size slides were where Ty and I had races, and Paul went off to do the massive ones that scared us all to death!
Our family dynamic was just so different now, and it was hard. While was laughed and smiled most of the day, we still felt our loss in in every thing we did. When the 4 of us took a tube down the Wooly Mammoth slide, it made we realized that the 4 of us had really never done this before. We never had been able to do anything as a foursome. One of us would have had to stay off to the side with Zackie. Maybe his gift to us is the time to really focus on the needs of his brothers, in ways we have never been able to before.
While we needed some time away together, we didn’t want the weekend to feel like we were “escaping” or leaving Zack and our emotions. The most wonderful AND the most emotional part, was that Zack was very much a part of this family vacation. We talked about him all the time, kissed his photo before we left the room and mentioned all the ways he would have loved our trip. We poured Froot Loops into a bowl at each breakfast and talked about all the sweet dessert treats that he would have loved.
I knew that I would miss having Zack with us for our trip. I was expecting that. I knew that our family of 4 would not feel complete without our little boy…but I was prepared to feel those emotions. What I didn’t expect was the sadness that I would feel every time we said “no, we don’t need a highchair”. We were surrounded by babies and young children in strollers, in highchairs and with diapers. What a felt was such a loss for our “baby”, my “baby”. It became so abundantly clear that I was now the mommy of two big boys….I didn’t have my “baby” anymore and I was so sad about that loss.
As sad as both Paul and I were, we were so happy to see our two boys interacting and playing together. Jayden followed Ty around like a puppy and let him push him and wrestle him in the water. They splashed and played in the kids area while we watched these two brothers bond in a new way. Ty loved to hold Jayden’s hand and be sure he was follow us doing all of our water activities. Ty and Jayden took advantage of the Cub Club and created some souvenirs with paint and fabric. We also loved our alone time with each of our beloved sweet boys.
During our 3 days and nights we spent mornings in the waterpark, had a great lunch and then a fabulous afternoon nap! I was even treated to a relaxing massage, that helped to clear my mind and allow some me time while the boys hung out in
the amazing Northern Lights Arcade. I have to admit, that I was the huge superstar in the arcade, winning each boys over 250 tickets at Wheel of Fortune and Deal or No Deal! Both boys got lots of treats, souvenirs (including Jayden’s wolf mask) and ate far too many french fries!
We are so thankful to have had that weekend together to make new memories with our two boys and to bring smiles to their faces and our own. We had time to snuggle, dance, cry and adjust to our new family. We even took a drive to downtown Niagara Falls to blow bubbles over the falls to Zackie as our sign to tell him he was still so much a part of everything we do.
We are so thankful to Alex, Jana and to ALL OF THE FAMILIES WHO CONTRIBUTED for allowing us to have this amazing time together and not have to worry about making the plans or paying for it. We felt more relaxed and rested on the way home, having taken the time to care for ourselves and each other. xoxoxox
Bubbie Bonnie
April 24, 2011 at 7:33 pm (14 years ago)Sounds like the perfect way to regenerate and get your strength back, as a family!
Supermom
April 25, 2011 at 3:12 pm (14 years ago)Love the pictures!
I’m glad to hear that you had a good time and that you didnt allow your sadness to over shadow your fun.
What generous friends and loved ones you must have. I hope this shows you just how much you touch the lives of those that know you (and feel like they know you)
allibrootob
April 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm (14 years ago)I follow both your blog TJZMommy, and Supermom…my heart goes out to both of you.
It sounds as though your weekend away was perfect in every way…creating new memories while including and remembering your sweet forever baby.