The Day I Told Our Kids They Were IVF Babies

For eleven years, I’ve dreamed of the day that I could tell our boys just how much they were wanted. 

That we wanted to be parents so much that we took our savings and went to the doctors to do anything and everything we could to create our children.  

That they were the result of a year of testing, months of heart ache and weeks of injections, ultrasounds and visits to the clinic.  

That they were IVF miracles.

Around dinner time one night, a silly conversation was inspired by listening to the old skool classic “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Jemaine Stewart. It didn’t take long for the chat to become what was required for a mom and dad to have a baby (S-E-X), 

I’m not sure why I thought that after 11 years, THIS was the right moment to share the important news I’d been saving for a special discussion, but I went for it.

“Having sex isn’t the only way that moms and dads can have a baby, you know.  You know how I’ve told you that Daddy and I had to go to see special doctors to have you? Well, Some babies are born by something called in vitro. They take the sperm from the dad and the egg from the mom and mix it together in a dish, then they put it back into the mom so it can become a baby. Did you  know that that’s how you guys were created.”

“So you and Dad never had sex?” asked Jayden.

“Well, we have, but not to have you boys”.

“So, the doctors made us?” asked Jayden.

“No, Daddy I made you, but the doctors helped us. We couldn’t have had you without their help. We prayed and wished for you guys for a long time and we were really lucky we got pregnant!”

I don’t remember exactly when the conversation went south or what triggered it but they both started laughing, giggling and calling each other “petri dish robots”.

I literally stood in the kitchen while this was going on around me.  As I tried to get dinner in the oven, I felt mixed emotions of overwhelming relief that I had told them and disappointment that they didn’t seem to realize the true miracles that they are. 

I asked the boys about how they felt about being IVF miracles. Jayden said he felt really special and Ty said it made him feel like a cyborg.

Well, as totally honest and hilarious as their reactions were, it reminded me of trying to get pregnant…sometimes things don’t go exactly as planned.

Ty’s First Home