This time of year it is always the time to reflect on what you are most thankful for.
Most of us will say our family and more importantly our amazing children. I am so very thankful for my beautiful boys and for the miracle of how I came to be their mommy. In fact, I am thankful everyday for my sons, for their impact on my life and for the ways in which they fulfill me as a woman and as a human being.
I could not even imagine my life without them. But it is something I try to wrap my head around, I try to think about the “what ifs”, so that I can really acknowledge the blessings for which I am deeply thankful. 
WHAT IF: we had tried for years and years, gone through numerous rounds of IVF and never conceived? Never fulfilled that aching in my heart and soul? Never been the mother that I was meant to be?
WHAT IF: groundbreaking technology hadn’t happened in order for IVF to even be a possibility? Our ONLY option for becoming parents?
WHAT IF: Paul and I hadn’t been able to scrap together the funds for our first IVF miracle- $10000 or even come up with that money again, emptying our savings, for our twins 4 years later?
WHAT IF: I had never met my beautiful sons, Ty, Jayden and Zack and they hadn’t impacted our lives and the lives of our friends and family?
WHAT IF: our marriage hadn’t survived the enormous emotional toll that infertility takes on every couple?
WHAT IF: I had never been a mother?
I know that I’m thinking of the “what ifs” in my life, but the truth is, there are so many couples that are living with these realities; the one thing in life that would fulfill them as a human being, as a woman or man eludes them. The one thing that they thought was their biological “right”, the one thing that would bond them as a couple forever, the one thing that their friends experienced so easily every day. The one thing out of their grasp.
The grim reality is this; 15% of reproductive age couples in Ontario will need medical help to conceive. Sadly, many families never realize their dreams of parenthood because OHIP and most extended health care programs do not cover the costs of treatment. Could you imagine the possibilities for these couples if infertility was treated and funded like other medical conditions such as diabetes or heart disease?
While I know that I have had times in my life during which I struggled to be thankful, I am blessed to have known the joy that comes with being a mother. I am thankful everyday that I have held my boys in my arms, rocked them to sleep, felt immense love and immense pride watching them grow, along side their father.
Our prayers were answered and I am thankful.
Paula Schuck
October 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm (12 years ago)I got goosebumps reading that. What ifs are scary! Thank you for sharing Heather. Everyone should be able to be a parent should they choose, want and be willing to become parents. So hard when you think about how easily some are given their children. So important that everyone act as stakeholders in building strong families in Ontario and the other provinces. I know many couples who split up during their infertility struggles. Very sad. And starting life together as a hmm smoky with debt or no savings at all – should not happen.
Lori
October 9, 2012 at 3:40 am (12 years ago)Great blog post! I am one of the lucky ones that fought infertility twice and won, took many years though and I can’t help but think if we had been helped we could have achieved our dreams sooner. Thank you for speaking out on this very important topic.
Savvy Suburban Mama
October 9, 2012 at 4:51 am (12 years ago)Fabulous post – the what ifs are something that most people don’t really take the time to think about. We were lucky – after years of not getting pregnant, I discovered I had cysts and endrometriosis – and was able to have surgery that eventually allowed me to have my two beautiful boys. But I’ve known women who had to go through so much more than we did. For one, her beautiful son is a miracle, another a daughter but for another a marriage ended (and thankfully she found love again and was blessed with a son) both through IVF. The costs were huge. I’m not in Ontario, but I can say that had my surgery not worked, I’m not sure we could have afforded IVF. It should be more affordable, and there should be more support as infertility is a life altering diagnosis.
Lena!
October 9, 2012 at 11:17 am (12 years ago)Like Paula, your post gave me Goosebumps. A beautiful reminder that others need our help.
Paula Schuck
October 11, 2012 at 6:34 pm (12 years ago)My last sentence should have read as a family with debt, not hmmm smoky. Geez. My autocorrect makes no sense some days.