This Week’s Sex Question from my Tween Son

I’m really fortunate to have a very special and close relationship with my tween son, Ty. At 11 years old, he and I are totally similar in some of the best ways and even some of the ways I wish I could shield him from (my ability to worry all the time).

Our late night talks are the times when he can share his worries, download some stress from friends or school and when he can ask me important questions. 

Me and My Guy

There was the night he asked me what rape was, when I told him I would have to tell his friend’s mom about inappropriate topics on Instagram and of course when he asked me to explain the word “dildo”. OY.

As Easter approached, I had my answer all ready about whether the Easter Bunny is in fact real or if it was us hiding the eggs. He already knows about the Tooth Fairy, and likely the Bunny too, but I pretty sure he just doesn’t want to give up the mini eggs (can you blame him?).

All ready to answer the burning Easter question, we had one of our heart to heart chats just before bedtime. Paul was away and I had just snuggled with Jayden, so we really had time to catch up. I could tell that he had a lot on his mind and was hoping he could open up to me. I wasn’t quite prepared for the topic of the discussion, so I had to wing it.

Ty: ‘Did you and Daddy have sex before you got married’
Me: Gulp- ‘um, yes. We were older, in our 20s, very in love and knew we would get married.’
Ty: ‘Did you have sex with anyone else?’
Me: ‘I’m happy to honestly answer your questions when you are older.’

I really struggled to hold off on answering part of the question, but knew that it was the right thing to do. After further discussion, we found out that watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air had precipitated these questions. 


While I’m going to try to answer everything that comes at me, with total honesty, I also think that timing is everything. He’s years away from making these decisions, so I’ll save my “honesty” until the answers are far more relevant.

In the meantime, we’re going to take a little break from watching Fresh Prince!